I am 20 years young.
I am roughly 5'8".
I have green eyes
and long black hair.
I am a sociophobic
and a monophobic.
I am currently in
my first semester
of college.
I used to have
an eating disorder.
I have overcome it,
but I am still not normal.
I've had thoughts of suicide
and I'm not sure how
to get rid of them.
I don't feel as though
that my life here on earth
is significant enough to be here.
If it wasn’t for my boyfriend,
I can honestly say that I
would probably have
taken my life in my own
hands by now.
I want to feel beautiful.
I want to have confidence.
I want to be thin.
CURRENT Status:
5’8” 130 lbs
ask
Likes
-
Dear, tumblr girls trying to lose weight. You CAN lose weight without starving and/or depriving...
-
Fitspo, thinspo, healthspo, whateverelsespo and weightless blogs currently online
-
Dear Nutella,
I understand that you are oh so very, unbelievably delicious and tempting, but I’m...
-
107.4
-
I WISH:
[x] I was THIN
[x] I had a better body
[x] I could control myself
[x] I was under 110lbs
[x] I could avoid food
[ ] I could hide what I am
[x] I wasn’t fat
[x] I was pretty
[ ] I could stop being anorexic/bulimic/ednos
I LOVE:
[ ] feeling hungry
[x] seeing a difference when fasting
[ ] shaking
[x] feeling airy
[x] losing weight
[ ] being anorexic/bulimic/ednos
[x] green tea
[x] diet pills
[x] being able to turn down food
[x] feeling good about myself
APPEARANCE:
[ ] I am shorter than 5’4
[x] I think I’m ugly sometimes
[x] I have many scars
[x] I wish my hair was a different color
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color
[ ] I have a tattoo
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance
[x] I have/had braces
[ ] I wear glasses
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
[x] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger
[x] I have more than 2 piercings
[ ] I have piercings in places besides my ears
[x] I have freckles
SEXUALITY:
[ ] I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex
[x] I’ve had a crush on a teacher
[x] I am a cuddler
[ ] I’ve kissed in the rain
[x] I’ve hugged a stranger
[ ] I have kissed a stranger
BAD TIMES:
[x] I’ve consumed alcohol
[ ] I regularly drink
[ ] I can’t swallow pills
[ ] I can swallow numerous pills at a time without water
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression
[x] I shut others out when I’m upset
[ ] I take anti-depressants
[x] I’m anorexic or bulimic or have EDNOS
[x] I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it
[x] I’ve hurt myself on purpose
[ ] I’m addicted to self harm
[ ] I’ve attempted suicide
[x] I’ve woken up crying
[x] I’ve lost weight
[x] I’ve gained weight
[x] My weight holds me back
[x] Weight consumes me
[ ] I’m at my thinnest
[ ] I’m at my biggest
[ ] I’ve lost weight and kept it off
[x] I’ve lost weight but gained it back
[x] My weight affects my mood
[ ] I weigh myself daily
[x] I am jealous of everyone smaller than me
[x] I thrive on compliments
[x] I feel bigger than people who are my size
[ ] I feel happy when I’m hungry
[x] I get depressed after I eat
[x] I’ve skipped a meal
[x] I’ve thrown food away
[x] I’ve spit food out
[x] I’ve fasted
[x] I’ve taken diet pills
[x] I’ve used laxatives
[ ] I’ve purged
[x] I exercise
[x] I exercise so I can eat
[x] I work out secretly
[ ] I work out daily
[x] I’ve fainted from exhaustion
I’ve done:
[ ] Weed
[x] Cigarettes
[x] Alcohol
[x] Pain killers
[x] Sleeping pills
[x] Anti-depressants
[ ] Ecstasy
[ ] LSD
[ ] Mushrooms
[ ] Speed
[ ] Cocaine
[ ] Other
HABITS:
[x] I keep my eating habits a secret
[x] I look at thinspo
[x] I collect thinspo
[x] I count calories
[x] I’ve had negative intake days
[x] I avoid food
[x] I hate food
[x] I love food
[ ] I want to be this way
[x] I don’t want to be like this
[x] I wish I could have more control
[x] Being thin is my top priority
[ ] I am in treatment
[x] I’m doing this for me
[ ] I’m doing this for someone
[x] I’m doing this to prove myself
I wonder what my roommate thinks, when she hears me crying from the next room.
